So I have this boyfriend…

Yes I feel like a happy unicorn. Lisa Frank gets it

Yes, I have a boyfriend. I’ve definitely mentioned him on here before and I have to tell you it thrills me to no end to say those words – I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend whom I adore. He’s awesome in so very many ways.

But the boyfriend (let’s call him Swiss, a nickname that I gave him and at his request I’m not going to provide the back story to) has proven himself to be amazing in one particular way. Now, get your minds out of the gutter everyone; that’s not what I’m talking about (but yes, that part’s amazing too, if you really must know); I’m talking about the way he looks out for me. It’s the way he cares for me and watches out for me and knows when I’m feeling not quite right.

Swiss wants to protect me in every way possible. So he notices when I’m too hot (which can trigger a seizure) and offers to take me outside to get a breath of fresh air in order to try to stop a seizure from happening. And if we’re in a group of people, he’ll whisper it in my ear so as not to make a big deal out of it. He also has the coldest hands in the world so if I don’t want to go outside because I’m feeling a little too out of it, he’ll lay his freezing hands on the back of neck to perk me up a little. I don’t have to say anything at all… He just seems to know when it’s happening.

The other night we were taking the streetcar home. It was late at night and I have a policy about not taking public transit at night. I’m not scared of it at night or anything, it’s just that I think there’s a higher risk of somebody being drunk and puking on me when it’s later at night so my anxiety and puke-phobia go into full effect. But this time, there was no option. It was snowing and there wasn’t a cab to be seen anywhere, so streetcar it was. And with the snow, everything was moving extra slowly, so the streetcar was packed. As soon as I got on, Swiss stepped close to me and took my glove off and held my clammy hand in his cool one to help keep me calm and cool me down. He also helped when there was a girl with her head between her knees who I was positive was going to projectile vomit on me at any moment. He knew I was stressed and did his best to put himself between me and whatever was freaking me out at that moment. He let me talk about why I was worried and just listened. He didn’t mock me or try to fix it, he just let me talk it out.

When I asked Swiss if he would be comfortable coming to a doctor’s appointment he told me to just name the time and place and he’d be there. I asked him to take me to my next MRI and even though it’s at 8:00 on a Saturday morning, he said he’d be happy to. He’s seen me have a seizure and didn’t go running in the opposite direction. He visited me in the hospital when I was having my test done. He practically held my hands down so I wouldn’t claw at the super itchy electrodes glued to my head and face. He brought me McDonald’s when I was in there. I didn’t wash my hair the entire week I was in the hospital but when I got home, he helped me pick the glue off my scalp.

My favourite thing that Swiss does for me some might see as a little odd, but I find it so damn endearing. No guy has ever done anything like this for me before. When I end up having too much to drink, which does happen from time to time, he does this amazing thing when we get back to my place. After he helps me take my boots off (they’re really hard to take off when I’ve had one too many cocktails, ok?) and I stumble off to the washroom, he follows me. And then he waits for me outside the door. If he doesn’t hear me moving around after a minute or two, he calls through the door ‘you ok in there?’ just to make sure I haven’t fallen asleep in there, fallen and whacked my head or had a seizure. Then once I come out, he walks me to bed.

Now this may sound weird or overbearing to you, but to me it is just the most caring and thoughtful thing. It means Swiss knows what I’m at risk of when I drink and he just wants to make sure that I get to bed safely. It’s him looking out for me. He doesn’t try to stop me from drinking (even though he knows I shouldn’t be doing it) he just lets me do what I do, doesn’t nag, and then watches out for me. It’s not creepy. It’s just him caring for me and making sure I’m doing ok.

There are many things about Swiss that I adore; his big blue eyes that make me weak at the knees, the fact that he’ll put together massive amounts of Ikea furniture for me, the way he can make me laugh, the way he can be so incredibly literal sometimes (another nickname I have for him is Drax), the way he’s so giving with his affection, his absolute blunt honesty with me as well as the fact that I feel I can tell him literally anything and he won’t judge me. But the way he looks out for me and cares for me is the one thing that tops them all.

We may not agree on movies and I have no interest in anime and he doesn’t want to watch Parenthood with me (although he will let me hug him and ugly cry into his shirt after a particularly heart-wrenching episode) but those are the little things. It’s the big things that matter; those are what really make me fall for him a little more every day.